Funny tweets I’ve read recently (plus one quote)

Drew Dernavich (@DrewDernavich)
"There are two types of people on Twitter: those who can successfully keep their tweets down to the required 140-character limit, and those w"

Drew Dernavich (@DrewDernavich):
"I wonder if Bono was embarrassed to find that the streets actually did have a name, but the sign had temporarily fallen down."

 One could drive a prairie schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact. -  David F Houston    

JohnFugelsang(@JohnFugelsang):
"Seriously dude, it's just a freakin' pond." - Henry David Thoreau's old frat buddy.

  Stacey Nightmare (@STACEYNIGHTMARE):
My heart is in the right place. Wish I could say the same for my left eye.

  Speedin' Weedin (@stephanieweedin):
PETA supporter wants to end the "suffrage" of animals. I can agree on this because I don't think animals should be allowed to vote.

  Mark Peters (@wordlust):
Don’t bring a spork to a trident fight.

  Devon Hoernschemeyer (@devonianh):  
“Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.” ~Sam Brown

Drew Dernavich (@DrewDernavich):
"Next time I'm at an airport restaurant, instead of saying that I want an appetizer, I'm gonna say I want to begin the pre-eating process."

  Noël Coward likened reading a footnote to going downstairs to answer the door while making love.

Mark Peters (@wordlust):
You can study philosophy for decades and never truly understand Occam’s Squeegee.